The Brilliant and Bizarre Mess

Let's start with something we found quite maddening. The Times-Union covers a recent talk given by Dr. Elliott Engel named The Brilliant and Bizarre Brontës at the Kosciusko Literacy Services' seventh annual Author Dinner (Tippecanoe Lake Country Club, Indiana). We read things like:

Thursday night at the Kosciusko Literacy Services' seventh annual Author Dinner, Dr. Elliot Engel gave his seventh presentation to KLS supporters and donors.
His topic, "The Brilliant and Bizarre Brontes," had the audience laughing and gasping as he unveiled the story behind the Bronte family.
In the history of all literature in every country, the only example of two sisters producing two works of literature that "will live on forever," Engel said, is Charlotte Bronte's "Jane Eyre" and Emily Bronte's "Wuthering Heights," two sisters from the British Isles.
But in order to understand where the books came from, Engel delved into the family's history.
The Bronte name is a different sort of name for Britain. What kind of name is it? "It is pure Sicilian. It is a Sicilian name," Engel said. But not one drop of blood is Sicilian about them except for the name.
The father's original name was Patrick Brunty. That had been changed from O'Brunty. "It was entirely Irish," said Engel. The father was born dirt poor, but brilliant.

O'Brunty? Not Prunty? And it might be Sicilian but even more importantly if was the Duke of Bronte's (Nelson).

In order to get ahead in British society, Engel said, the father knew he had to become a rector in a church. At age 19, seeing the name Bronte in the newspaper, a name with status, Patrick Brunty changed his name to Patrick Bronte.
Then, to also help him move up society's ladder, he needed the perfect wife. "Unfortunately for her," Engel said, "he found her." He married Maria Branwell in 1812. Over the next 8-1/2 years, Maria had two miscarriages, five girls and one boy. Maria then died in 1820.

Two miscarriages? What? When? And then again Maria died in 1821.

Mr. Bronte was given a parish in Haworth. The parish, even today, is in the middle of nowhere. He was left there with six children and no wife. The first thing he needed to do was get a housekeeper. He interviewed and hired Maria's sister, who could not cook.

He interviewed and hired Aunt Branwell? Poor Elizabeth coming from Penzance even before her sister's death and economically independent was hired... and, even more comical... interviewed? Did she have to hand her resume in advance? Come on.

Fortunately for his children, he had a very good library. Four of his surviving children read books from that library at a very early age. The other two children, Maria, 10, and Elizabeth, 9, were sent off to a private school. Both girls died the same week of diseases they caught at the awful school, Engel said.

Very good library? The Parsonage one? Certainly very good it was not. And Maria and Elizabeth also read before going to that private school, which they subsequently left for a charity school from where they were set home to die... in different weeks.

Mr. Bronte wanted to know how his children were going to be rich and support him. The only job available for women at that time was that of governess. Engel said the jobs were very alienating. Governesses would have nothing to do with the families they worked for because families looked down on people who had to work. And the other servants wouldn't have anything to do with governesses because the servants thought them too high up. If a governess was beautiful, then the family would treat them well.

That's ridiculous. Mr Bronte had a perpetual curacy and did not need any economical support. is main concern was that after his death his children could support themselves! And what's that about a governess needing to be beautiful to be treated better? Maybe the master of the house treated her better?

Charlotte was not even plain. She was "really, really ugly," Engel said. She had coke-bottom glasses, terrible hair, a bad complexion and only stood at 4 feet, 9 inches.

Well, well... that's almost Ugly Betty meets Jane Eyre. Ops, sorry... Jane Ayre:

"I tell you this because it was her greatest gift as an artist," Engel said. When she wrote "Jane Eyre," Charlotte wrote Jane Ayre as unattractive as she was. Jane Ayre is the first and last unattractive heroine in literature, Engel said.
Jane also was a plain name in the 19th century. "There had never been a heroine named Jane before," Engel said.
"'Jane Eyre' is the story of an ugly duckling who grows up to be an ugly duckling," said Engel.
But by making Jane unattractive, "she is more realistic than any other heroine in English literature," Engel said. Even today, girls are inspired by the book. "It is a great triumph of the imagination," he said.

Yes, definitely Ugly Charlotte... let's make the soap-opera right now.

Charlotte doesn't get a job as governess.
Emily, on the other hand, is attractive. How did she do as governess? "We'll never know because she was so weird, she was never let out of the house," Engel said.

Never... just some time in Roe Head, Law Hill, Brussels. the moors. Emily, the femme fatale. And technically it's right to say Charlotte didn't get a job as governess, she got several.

The other daughter, Anne, got a job as governness. After she got her brother, Branwell, a job with the family, too, both were fired. Branwell, 19, had an affair with the matriarch of the family, who was 43.

Oh, we thought there were only two famous sisters. Anne was fired as well from her second post as governess? Maybe she also had an affair with the patriarch.

In 1847, upon Charlotte's insistence, all three of the daughters decided to try writing novels. Charlotte got hers, "The Professor," completed first. It was rejected by publishers six times, but the sixth publisher told Charlotte to send her next book to him first. She writes "Jane Eyre." But the publisher, George Smith, wants to give the author a man's name. Charlotte refuses to change her name to a man's name, but accepts an androgenous name, Currer Bell. "Jane Eyre" becomes a best seller.

Where to start? Charlotte insisted in writing novels? In 1847?And how can a widely-known story, in this case how Charlotte used Currer Bell as her alias, be so twisted and confused is something quite unbelievable. (No poetry?)

Do you think that was not enough? Ok, sit tight and prepare to read how Branwell killed himself in front of his family, how Anne died in Charlotte's arms thirty minutes after arriving to Scarborough and many, many other really bizarre inventions:

Eight days before "Jane Eyre" comes out, Branwell drugs and drinks himself to death in front of the family. Four weeks later, after Emily's book "Wuthering Heights" also is published, Emily is dying of consumption. Critics hated it, until 1910, when opinions changed. Emily dies six months after Branwell.
Anne then contracts consumption. Charlotte takes Anne to a seashore resort to help her lungs. Thirty minutes after checking into a resort, Anne dies in Charlotte's arms.
Charlotte writes two more books, one good one, "Villette," and one bad one, "Shirley," Engel said.
At age 34, Charlotte gets a proposal of marriage. After fighting with her father for 13 months, he finally consents for her to marry Arthur Bell Nicholls, his curate. She didn't love him at first, but upon returning from their honeymoon, they were in love. Three months later, Charlotte was pregnant.
At eight months pregnant, Charlotte dies of consumption, and the child does, too.
While all the children died before age 34, Mr. Bronte lives to 89-1/2 years old.
Today, "Wuthering Heights" is described as the greatest English novel, but it's Charlotte who opened literature up to all female authors.

This is a very imaginative, Mathematics-ignoring chronology. To name but a few mistakes: Charlotte died at almost 39, Patrick at 84 (we'll spare the exact months), Charlotte wasn't eight months pregnants, etc. etc.

We don't know if the blunders come from Mr. Engel's talk or from the (incredible) imagination of the journalist (David Sloane) but whatever the reason, the result is the same: shameful.

No wonder the talks are about the bizarre Brontës, as they seem to come from an altogether different universe than the real ones. We will give one free piece of advice to Mr Engels (or Mr Sloane, whoever is responsible for the mess): go to a bookshop/library and, if he only wants to read one book, look under B in biographies and grab Juliet Barker's.

EDIT:
Mr. Engel's next talk will be at the Davie County Public Library, Mocksville, North Carolina:

Elliot Engel Returns: The Brilliant and Bizarre Brontës
Date: Nov 06, 2008 - 04:00 pm and 07:00 pm
Dr. Elliot Engel returns to the Davie County Public Library on Thursday, November 6th , 2008, for the 9th consecutive year. This year’s program will be “The Brilliant and Bizarre Brontes,” the tragic story of the Brontë family, with emphasis on Charlotte and Emily (Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights.) "Charlotte Bronte and her sisters Emily Bronte and Anne Bronte have charmed, inspired, and even shocked readers from the Victorian age to the present," according to http://www.brontefamily.org.
Programs are at 4:00 pm and 7:00 pm. and are free and open to the public; come early to get a good seat.

Go at your own risk.

Categories: Talks, Weirdo