Thursday, August 09, 2007

A Heavy-Metal Band in Wisteria Lane

Sharon Steel in The Phoenix talks about the Dead white females sisterhood and her influence in contemporary pop culture. Who are the members of this exclusive sisterhood? Well, Jane Austen, Sylvia Plath, Mary Shelley, Ayn Rand, George Eliot, Anaïs Nin and... of course, the Brontë sisters:

Dead White Female Authors: The Brontë sisters
BEST-KNOWN WORK Emily’s Wuthering Heights, 1847 (“Proud people breed sad sorrows for themselves.”)
POP-CULTURE LEGACY dramarama; soap operas; telenovelas; Eva Longoria

Danielle Steel is a very lucky writer — she made a mint off a genre the Brontës owned two centuries ago. The careers of Charlotte, Anne, and Emily Brontë ended early, though there’s no telling how many more star-crossed, heavy-breathing bodice rippers they had left in them. Take Emily’s Heathcliffe (sic!), for example — he was the kind of man who’d gladly skin a litter of puppies if it would make Catherine love him. Stick him in a time machine and Heathcliffe would be a perfect new villain on creepy-goth soap Passions. (You wouldn’t even have to change his outfits.) In Charlotte’s Jane Eyre, Edward Rochester hid his crazy old wife on the top floor of his gargantuan manor. Years later, V.C. Andrews threw some hormonal siblings with an incest-cursed bloodline into a garret and let the awkward sparks fly for Flowers in the Attic. Oh, and ABC’s pet lady-drama? Desperate Housewives clearly owes its exploration of sexual politics and small-town scandal to Anne’s shocking second novel The Tenant of Wildfell Hall.

Desperate Housewives "clearly owes" anything to Anne Brontë's Tenant? The Brontës as precedent to Danielle Steele's kind of novels? As much as a good wine can be a precedent of a nowadays soda drink. Both are drinks and both can accompany meals, but...

Another piece of humour comes from raincoaster who quotes something from someone that quotes someone:
Stolen from the greatest magazine in the history of recorded thought, Spy, via the greatest blog based on blogging the best dead magazine in recorded thought in recorded thought, Ten Years Ago in Spy.

“What If the Brontë Sisters Had Been in a Heavy-Metal Band?”

Wouldn’t they be Kittie?

1826
Emily rejects ritual indoctrination in the domestic arts; vows to create a “towering wall of sounds.”
1842
Anne throws straw-poke bonnet into seething concert crowd at Albert Hall.
1849
Charlotte returns to public house to trash furniture and have sex with publican; locks manager, Mrs. Rochester, in attic.
Finally, Fathy's Site reviews Jane Eyre 1996 in Hungarian.

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Comments :

2 comments to “ A Heavy-Metal Band in Wisteria Lane ”
raincoaster said...
on  

So are you saying you think they wouldn't have rocked?

M. said...
on  

They already rock, dude!!

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